Femininity Part I- Becoming More Feminine

What is Femininity?

Feminity is a gentle quality in women. It is a softness and delicateness, in her appearance, her manner, her behaviors, and her very nature. A feminine woman lacks masculine traits. She is not aggressive, competitive or fearless. She does not engage in dangerous sports for the excitement of it, she does not take part in activities that require physical strength, and she is certainly not bossy or pushy.

The feminine woman tends to be submissive, trusting, sweet and tender. She is very attractive to masculine men, because the difference between them is so great. This is the sort of woman a man will have strong feelings of protectiveness toward, and a strong desire to cherish and please. A feminine woman may be physically weaker than her male counterpart, but not morally or intellectually.

What are some ways to *appear* more feminine to others? To begin with, pay close attention to your looks. Even if a man complains about this, he is secretly pleased. It's not important to look perfect, be a certain size, or wear a certain brand, but it is important to look clean, well-groomed, and neatly dressed. While a woman's appearance should not be the most important thing, she should not neglect herself in this department. Showing that she cares about her appearance shows she cares about herself and her husband.

Next, accentuate the differences between yourself and men. Wear colors that are feminine, pastels if they suit you, or bright jewel colors. Materials should look and feel feminine...silks, cashmeres, lace, gauze, satins, angora, linens, fine woolens, crisp cotton, anything soft and light is fine. Fluffy skirts, filmy dresses, lacy cardigans are all very feminine. Wear dresses more often. There are dresses to flatter all women, if she takes the time to find the right style to suit her, but jeans and pants and shorts do not flatter all women. Recently, puffy and ruffled clothing has come back into fashion, and are very feminine.

Finally, try to avoid more masculine styles, materials, and colors. Try to minimize tweeds and heavy denims. Try to avoid brown or khaki or tan as the main neutral color in your wardrobe, as these tend to dominate a male wardrobe. Do not buy clothing cut in masculine styles...avoid anything too boxy or heavy with shoulder pads, anything cut too straight or oversized, cuffs, heavy or clunky shoes, and anything too utilitarian.

A woman can wear clothing that is more fitted to her shape while still maintaining her modesty. If you are sensitive about certain problem areas or your overall size, do not wear oversized tees to hide yourself, or too tight clothing because you refuse to go up in size. You should seek to wear well-fitting clothing that makes you look terrific (remember, no one knows what the tag says but you) and highlight your best features.

When you begin to build a more feminine wardrobe, try to eventually extend it to all that you own. Consider buying silky nightgowns, undergarments in lovely colors that suit you, a coat that has a feminine cut, scarves in pretty colors, etc.

Belts, purses and shoes are a great way to make a look more feminine. Avoid purses that are too boxy or look like briefcases, shoes that look masculine (no timberlands, tassled penny loafers, etc), or plain belts. Instead, buy purses in any of the great shapes, colors and styles that are available today...pink, jade, baby blue, lavendar, shiny, suede, sequined, etc. Shoes with flowers, bows, straps, heels, in pretty colors go a long way toward making an overall look very feminine and attractive. Belts are available with buckles that look like bows or butterflies, or in softer materials than the traditional hard leather strip. They come in pink, leopard print, as sashes, with fringe, etc. Anything that is attractive on you and highlights that you are a woman (a man can't wear a belt with a butterfly on it!)

We all have colors that particularly flatter us...for variety in your wardrobe, rather than buying clothes in many different colors (which may result in an unflattering wardrobe that is harder to match, just for the sake of variety), instead buy different styles of clothing in the same flattering color family. For example, if you look and feel beautiful in periwinkle, feel free to buy a periwinkle sweater, and a periwinkle scarf to wear with a black sweater, and a periwinkle cardigan to wear with a dress, etc. When you open your closet doors, you should always be faced with a selection of flattering clothes that you love.

Go to Femininity Part II, III, IV