At 70 years old, a woman in India gave birth to her first child, thanks to modern science and IVF. NBC reports the details of her interesting story and many like her, who feel the pain of never having been able to have a child.
The video of these older moms makes the issue even more confusing. Watching her on video makes one wonder if she has the energy to keep up with a tot (she looks her age). Will she be around to raise her child into adulthood? The other side of the coin is that I understand the desire to have a child to love. Does it hurt the child to have parents who are so much older? Who have a greater chance of dying while the child is still a child?
The stigma of not being a mother in her culture is great, and she always felt sad to see others have children, raise children, and never know the joy herself. She not only had a child, she currently cares full-time for her 18 months old (she is now 71) and breastfeeds as well. The clinique where she conceived her child is becoming "ground zero" for older couples who were never able to have children, including a 66 year old woman and her husband who became pregnant on the third try with IVF. She had triplets, making her the oldest woman ever to have borne triplets (one has since died).
The center has helped 65 women in the last few years over the age of fifty become pregnant. They feel there is no age limit to becoming a mom if the woman is healthy enough to carry the child. There are other cases like this all around the world. A great-grandmother in California recently had her 12th child at sixty-two years old, begging the question why, when it was clear she didn't miss out on motherhood. A Spanish woman had twins at 66, and died within three years. The doctor who helped her become pregnant said that it's not his concern who cares for the children after the parents pass away.
Some doctors feel that humans are not designed to have babies in their 50's and 60's, and once a woman is in menopause or a man become infertile, it's time to stop trying. The eggs being used are taken from a younger woman, and most of these pregnancies do not go to term (most babies are born very early, with complication, because it's difficult for older women to carry a baby to term). One doctor said that an ethical doctor who is honest will tell a woman about 50'ish that she's at the cut-off, and early fifties is as old as a woman should be to become pregnant, for the safety and welfare of the baby. Other doctors feel there is no limit, and with science helping things along, it's a personal decision that is now achievable.
Men are able to have children older and many would say that it's not fair that men can have chikdren until the day they die, but the truth is many men do not produce healthy, viable sperm in later years, and even if they do manage to fsther a child later on, the child is more likely to have health problems at some point in life (physical and/or mental) than children of men who were in their 20's and 30's when the baby was conceived. Too, men die sooner, so older dads may not be around to raise their babies into adulthood either.
The video of these older moms makes the issue even more confusing. Watching her on video makes one wonder if she has the energy to keep up with a tot (she looks her age). Will she be around to raise her child into adulthood? The other side of the coin is that I understand the desire to have a child to love. Does it hurt the child to have parents who are so much older? Who have a greater chance of dying while the child is still a child?
The stigma of not being a mother in her culture is great, and she always felt sad to see others have children, raise children, and never know the joy herself. She not only had a child, she currently cares full-time for her 18 months old (she is now 71) and breastfeeds as well. The clinique where she conceived her child is becoming "ground zero" for older couples who were never able to have children, including a 66 year old woman and her husband who became pregnant on the third try with IVF. She had triplets, making her the oldest woman ever to have borne triplets (one has since died).
The center has helped 65 women in the last few years over the age of fifty become pregnant. They feel there is no age limit to becoming a mom if the woman is healthy enough to carry the child. There are other cases like this all around the world. A great-grandmother in California recently had her 12th child at sixty-two years old, begging the question why, when it was clear she didn't miss out on motherhood. A Spanish woman had twins at 66, and died within three years. The doctor who helped her become pregnant said that it's not his concern who cares for the children after the parents pass away.
Some doctors feel that humans are not designed to have babies in their 50's and 60's, and once a woman is in menopause or a man become infertile, it's time to stop trying. The eggs being used are taken from a younger woman, and most of these pregnancies do not go to term (most babies are born very early, with complication, because it's difficult for older women to carry a baby to term). One doctor said that an ethical doctor who is honest will tell a woman about 50'ish that she's at the cut-off, and early fifties is as old as a woman should be to become pregnant, for the safety and welfare of the baby. Other doctors feel there is no limit, and with science helping things along, it's a personal decision that is now achievable.
Men are able to have children older and many would say that it's not fair that men can have chikdren until the day they die, but the truth is many men do not produce healthy, viable sperm in later years, and even if they do manage to fsther a child later on, the child is more likely to have health problems at some point in life (physical and/or mental) than children of men who were in their 20's and 30's when the baby was conceived. Too, men die sooner, so older dads may not be around to raise their babies into adulthood either.
Personally I think it's not fair to the children.
ReplyDeleteI knew a boy growing up who's parents were fairly old, I mean his brother's and sisters were all grown up and out of the home with children of their own. Those children weren't babies either, they were all closer to eight years old. His mother naturally had him sometime in her early fifties. He had a hard time being in a home as now basically the only child since his siblings of course no longer lived there. His parents were very smart and treated him more like an adult than a child. So he behaved and talked more like an adult and just didn't seem to know how to be a kid. He just never fit it and kids found it hard to talk to him because he talked and acted like an adult.
His Dad ended up dying when he was in junior high school and his mom than begin to have very bad health with her heart. I think he lead a lonely existence in that home.
That is so sad! I feel the same way, that it's not the best idea. The only thing is, if it happens naturally, I admire them for not aborting him, because the truth is, if he was a surprise and they were not prepared for another baby, it's a big sacrifice to have to start all over when you were preparing to be grandparents soon, and it's tougher physically as you get older too.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel it's admirable to, past 50, get IVF, especially if you've had children before. I'm not sure it benefits anyone except the woman who wants to have the baby, and being a mom is all about putting yourself second and your children first.
The woman who had her 12th child via IVF in her 60's...it grossed me out. She is a great grandma, she looks like a great grandma, she could easily busy herself with her kids (11!), grandkids, and great grandkids, work, friends, etc, but she wanted to have another child for HERSELF. That one, I admit, really upset me.
The drive to be a mother is quite amazing.
ReplyDeleteOur first instinct seems to be that they will die soon or not be able to take care of their children, but parents die at all ages. It is important for parents of all ages to make plans for who will take care of our children if they pass before the children are old enough to take care of themselves. Interesting how many parents would leave kids with their grandparents if unable to care for them...
I can understand that...if they did a good job raising you, who else would you trust should you not be around to care for your child?
ReplyDeleteMost parents don't die in their 20's, 30's, and 40's though, so I'd still think 50+ is riskier. My parents shouldn't have more kids of their own, but if something happens to me and my husband, I don't trust anyone more to raise my son (I don't know if they would be around long enough to raise him until adulthood though- which hurts to say, because I love them so much). Maybe grandma...women tend to live longer.