A Retro, 1950's Kind Of Family

In my house, it's the 1950's. At least, that is what my husband likes to say, because we are both old-fashioned in many ways. He was recently asked by a colleague, who learned he has a newborn son, if he "was still with the baby's mom". My husband was taken aback, said he was married, and would not have had children if not married. My husband proudly told him we are an old-fashioned, retro kind of couple, with mom taking time off to watch the babies while dad goes to work to support the family,

This colleague was surprised~ at 28 years old. Let me repeat that...a 28 year old man was surprised to hear that another man in his late 20's would only have children within marriage. Another co-worker standing nearby, a woman who thinks marriage is outdated, was not very impressed. She refers to the man she had children with but never married as "the father of my children". Many of his co-workers, in fact, found it hard to believe I chose to stop working and asked him why he wouldn't let me work. Neither his female or male co-workers can believe a woman today would want to stay home with her baby.

I remember growing up, in elementary school, and hearing about a random fellow student here and there having divorced parents. By the time I reached junior high school, at least half the students came from homes affected by divorce, and a few years later, it was the majority. I was speaking to a gentleman in college once about my parents going on vacation. He asked which of my parents had remarried, and was downright shocked when I told him neither, my parents were still married to eachother. He did not have any friends or acquaintences who came from homes that were still intact- all were from broken homes or had parents that never married.

So what happened here? Sure, it's a free country, and women have the freedom, opportunities, and often money to live how they want and make the choices they want. I'm just a bit confused as to when it became expected that women would choose to stay as far away from home as possible, and when it became the norm that women are either divorced, or would prefer not to marry and just have children on their own.

I'm not sure if it's because of the area I live in, or because magazines seem to be showcasing celebrities who are having extensive families without marriage, or because I'm still shocked when I learned that for the first time more children in the US are being born to women who are single than women who are married, but it seems to me that there has been a huge sociological shift that took place in less than two generations. I'm still surprised at the surprise of others who consider us outdated.

So, here we are- a retro, old-fashioned family :) My husband likes to work, and he pays our bills. I like to stay home and look at my baby smile all day. I can see how this would be boring for some, but it's not for me. I like to be home when my husband returns from work, holding our son up and saying "Daddy's home!" The day has come when women like me are looked at quizzically by most. I just hope the day doesn't come when women like me are looked down on. I'd like my future daughters to feel as free as I do to make the choices they feel are best for them.