Getting Back In Shape After Baby

It's been almost three months since my bunchkin was born, and things are starting to normalize around here. I am still breast-feeding (super happy about this, after a bout of mastitis that I worried would end things for me), and even managed to get to the hair salon for my first highlight appointment in a very long time (I didn't want to color my hair while pregnant and risk harming my baby in any way). I even lost most of the baby weight (about five pounds left to go...the hard five pounds that take forever to lose).

What I didn't expect to get, and what doesn't seem to be going away, is a linea nigra (I remember my mom saying "Eew, what is that?!" upon seeing it for the first time) and tummy pudge (never had that before, and according to my new mommy books, you can't wish it away, or diet it away, you have to exercise it away...*sigh*). So I'm now on a mission to exercise my tummy back to its previous glory, and find out how on earth to get rid of that unwelcome line currently inhabiting said tummy. I'd also like to know why I even got it...my mother never did, and my sister's left within two months. What IS that thing, and why won't it go away??

For those of you who haven't had children yet, it turns out there is lots that veteran moms don't tell us. Apparently, they don't want to scare young women into not having kids, so these are secrets you don't find out until after you are already pregnant. It's true, I asked my mom and many other women why they never mentioned it...they replied "Well, you were going to find out anyway, why upset you in advance."

Well, guess what, I'm going to tell you some of these secrets now.

1. After you have a baby, it can take from weeks to months (yes months) for your tummy to shrink. You look five months pregnant right after you have the baby for at least a couple of weeks. Not kidding. You will be holding on to your maternity clothes for a bit longer than you thought (I imagined myself happily tossing them the day after my baby was home...Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)


2. Breast-feeding is hard. Sure, it looks sweet and easy in those posters, and now, for me, it is sweet and easy. But for many women, in the very beginning, it is not sweet or easy. It takes practice, getting used to, and can even be painful until you get the hang of it (there is a reason that lactation specialists are thriving, and support groups like La Leche League are popular). In my third week, I was hospitalized with mastitis, but because I am very committed to breast-feeding, I pumped while in the hospital, and resumed breast-feeding when I came out. Most women do not go through this (so don't get scared) but it happens more than you think, especially if, like me, you never even heard of mastitis or clogged ducts before your baby was born. Obviously, though, it wasn't bad enough to deter me from breast-feeding, so it should not deter any new moms from trying to breast-feed, but new moms should not be ashamed if they find it not as easy as they expected. Like anything, it's a learned skill.

3. You really do get exhausted. A few women warned me about this (a lot of men warned my husband), but until you go through it, you don't get it. You do not sleep at all in the beginning. Your baby wakes and sleeps around the clock. The lack of sleep I had in the last few weeks of pregnancy, anxiously awaiting the soccer player in my tummy keeping me away with his kickig, is nothing compared to the lack of sleep I had for weeks after. Today it's much better, but it took a couple of months.

4. Anything can happen during labor, and after. You may not want an episiotomy or c-section, but that doesn't mean you won't have to have one. You may hope for a quick labor, you may think you'll turn down pain meds, you may believe you'll do so and so with your new baby, but until you go through it, you really don't know what you will do. I'm ashamed to say I actually requested an episiotomy, because I had no energy left at one point (my doctor didn't feel I needed one, but the pain was beyond anything I was prepared for). I also had ideas about what I would do with my baby once he was home, but the two predominant thoughts, once he was actually home, were always safety and convenience. That meant some cute things (like slings) didn't happen. I use a baby carrier now, but my dream of carrying him sweetly in a sling...nope. He had other ideas, and his comfort superceded my love of cute bunchkin-in-a-sling carrying.


5. You Will Love This Baby More Than Yourself. You will love this baby More Than You Ever Loved Anything. I have heard this before- having a baby means having your heart forever walk outside your body. I understood it in theory. I even felt a strong love for my goddaughter and niece, that I felt indicated what I would feel for my son. Not even close. I love many things and many people, but there is one thing in the world that takes priority over everything now for me and my husband, and that is our son, and we never, ever expected to be so in love with him that just watching him sleep, just looking at his fingers and toes, just seeing his gummy smile, would break our hearts so much, and happily occupy us for hours. Your heart will be so full of love for your child, you will not be able to stand it.

Now, you know the insider secrets :)

Oh, and of course, you know (this no one keeps secret) that it takes time to get back in shape, for your skin to tighten again, for all the weight to go, etc. So I'm now on Mission: Get Back In Shape After Baby. Just in time to prepare for the warm months.